My 1 Story

My1Story is proof that God has a plan for us and it is “HIS” timing and not ours. Even though I went to church as a young boy with the family, I never really could grasp the concept that Jesus, a person that lived thousands of years ago could know me or care for me. I learned at a very young age of 5 that it was much less painful on my body to lie to my parents than to tell the truth. I never felt very good about myself and lacked self esteem through most of my life. Most of my problems I blamed on my three older sisters for many years because of how they treated me and my Mother never knew what was going on behind her back. I always felt alone and that nobody really cared about me or even loved me. As typical my Father worked a lot, but there were a few times he would take me to work with him on Saturdays which became treasured moments. When I was to start High School, my parents decide to move closer to where my Father worked. This was devastating to my low self esteem, because what few friends I did I have, I lost. Starting High School in a new school, and a new environment, as we moved from a small rural community to the city, was overwhelming on me. I became angry at my folks and withdrew even more. Then my Father died suddenly when I was in my sophomore year just before Christmas.

Paul talks about his thorn (2 Cor 12:7) and the fact that that it will not be removed from him. Wow, can I relate. After being baptized in 1994, I moved my wife and son from Chicago to Denver in search for the next best job. God had impacted my life, and I needed to get the “rest” of it in line with the joy I was feeling. While in Denver, my daughter was born, and God placed me in the midst of a phenomenal group of brothers and sisters in Christ. I grew in ways that I am only now beginning to realize, but during this enormous blessing my “thorn” continued to remind me it was still there. Over the ten years in Denver, my job situation changed seven times, some I initiated and some I did not, but each time showed me that I did not have the control I thought I did. God blessed me over and over allowing each new chapter of my life to be a way to get closer to Him.

During summer break after my sophomore year of college, I had the opportunity to lead the music at a summer camp for middle and high school students. With in the first few days of being there, I was beginning to have a great feeling of accomplishment in my self. You see if you put a college kid on a stage with a guitar in front of a bunch of middle and high school students and tell him to lead the music for the worship service, there is a good possibility that the kid will develop a bit of an ego. And I was quickly developing. However, a few nights into the camp while on stage I saw the faces of the students in that room and for some reason God woke me up with a memory from my past.

I’m one of the fortunate ones. God, belief, church have always been a part of my life. As a young child, I remember always going to church with my family. There were men and women in my church who poured their lives into mine, helping me to understand the teachings of Jesus and – more importantly – helping me understand how Jesus’ teachings were relevant to my life and my way of living.

My story begins simply enough. It’s probably not all that uncommon a story really, I’m sure. Yet it was this one experience that I can pinpoint as the one moment in time wherein my one life was changed.

I was a bit troubled after the ugly separation and divorce of my parents at the tender age of 9. But that was only the beginning of a series of traumatic events and later child abuse that would ultimately end in some pretty serious drug abuse, increasingly bizarre and perverse behavior and a careless disregard of life and people. (The abuse I suffered was not at the hand of my parents. I would just like to make that clear).