My 1 Story

My1Story is proof that God has a plan for us and it is “HIS” timing and not ours. Even though I went to church as a young boy with the family, I never really could grasp the concept that Jesus, a person that lived thousands of years ago could know me or care for me. I learned at a very young age of 5 that it was much less painful on my body to lie to my parents than to tell the truth. I never felt very good about myself and lacked self esteem through most of my life. Most of my problems I blamed on my three older sisters for many years because of how they treated me and my Mother never knew what was going on behind her back. I always felt alone and that nobody really cared about me or even loved me. As typical my Father worked a lot, but there were a few times he would take me to work with him on Saturdays which became treasured moments. When I was to start High School, my parents decide to move closer to where my Father worked. This was devastating to my low self esteem, because what few friends I did I have, I lost. Starting High School in a new school, and a new environment, as we moved from a small rural community to the city, was overwhelming on me. I became angry at my folks and withdrew even more. Then my Father died suddenly when I was in my sophomore year just before Christmas.

Well I pretty much lost it as this was the only person in my life I had any kind of relationship with. Even though I respected my Mother, I don’t really think I had any understanding of how to love anyone. I cursed GOD and could not understand why he could take my Father from me and I completely turned my life away from anything remotely associated with GOD. Needless to say my life from that point went in the toilet, especially when I was introduced to alcohol. I was a terrible student and barely made it through school. I got into trouble many times with drinking, such as driving my mother’s car into a house almost killing two people sleeping in their bedroom. Another time I got out of a situation involving DUI and concealed weapon charge because my Brother-in-law had a good crooked lawyer.

Well then I grew up, I thought because I got married and figured I would settle down. Ha –, the problem was I still drank very heavily and this caused this marriage to dissolve after three kids and 7 years of unhappiness. Then a second marriage that started out with the same problem of drinking and this ended after 7 years of marriage and 1 child. At least I was starting to understand my problem with drinking, that nobody understood me and drinking was not really the problem. Another Ha –
Well I then met the Woman of my dreams and a soul mate. Just with that statement I guess you can tell where that went, because I have been single for 20 years now.

While I was involved with this woman, I still had my drinking problem which got to its worse point. I had been in and out of the Alcohol Anonymous program several times and I just did not relate to those people that found a GOD in their lives. I just was not one of those people and I continued to believe I could fix myself! I did not need anyone to help me!
Through a chain of too many events to list now, I came to a day when I could not face life anymore. I was sitting at my kitchen table after a week of not drinking with a terrible case of the shakes. I had a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and my 38 Police special laying on the table in front of me. The thoughts running through my head gave me the option of drinking myself to death OR just put a bullet in my head and get it over with! I was at my end —–

At that very moment a calm came over me and a soft quiet voice said – Give AA one more try, there are people who Love you as I do —
I followed that advice and that is why I am writing this letter today, sober, without a drink in 14 years and Jesus in my Heart!
The best part of the story is that three years into my sobriety, at a AA meeting on December 16th we were discussing “Good Christmas / Bad Christmas” and typical stories were that of how drinking ruined the Holidays. But my thoughts were that of the year my Father died just before Christmas. The thought came to me – He died on December 16th – today is December 16th! That was the day I turned my back on GOD! THEN it came to me – that day I sat with the gun and bottle as my choices for life or death WAS December 16th! From that day I turned from GOD to the day I finally listened to him and invited HIM back into my life was 33 years to the day! Only GOD has that kind of patience and Love for each of us to never give up!

No similar stories.