August 26th, 2009
The Presence of the One
My husband and I had been married for nine years. We had a beautiful five-year-old son, full-time jobs that we liked, a lovely home, and great friends. To those on the outside, looking in, we had it all. On the inside, however, things were beginning to unravel – and quickly.
My husband had chronic back pain, and the pain seemed to get worse with every passing day. He had seen a plethora of doctors, specialists, and those whose niche was pain management. He tried chiropractics, physical therapy, injections…you name it, they prescribed it, and he tried it. Under the care and direction of his physician, he began taking pain medications. As the pain worsened, his physician increased the dosage and strength of his narcotic. After four years of using prescription narcotics, my husband was addicted. The addiction caused behaviors that were so very uncharacteristic of my husband. The meds, and behaviors, were affecting our home, our family, our marriage. We both knew that something had to change.
We entered into a therapeutic relationship with a Marriage and Family Counselor. She advised that my husband enter into a treatment facility, where he could detox from the narcotics, undergo intensive counseling, and rebuild his life with the help of a 12 step program. My husband very courageously agreed. In December of 2006, he spent five weeks at a treatment facility in Georgia. We were separated during Christmas.
Do you have any idea how many television shows, Christmas songs, movies, and even commercials portray families being together, happy and loving, during the Christmas Season? A lot! I think I will always remember the Saturday morning when my husband left for Georgia. A good friend, who was also a member of our church small group, agreed to drive my husband to Georgia – so that my son and I wouldn’t have to make the long drive by ourselves. As my son and I said goodbye to my husband, my heart ached like it had never ached before. I didn’t know what to expect, I wondered if this were really going to work, and – deep down – I wondered if I would ever get my husband back…the man that I had married nine years prior. On that Saturday morning, I wondered how – if – I could survive the five weeks ahead of me.
As soon as my husband and our friend pulled out of our driveway, a sense of peace overwhelmed me. Though my heart still ached and my mind still raced, I knew that we were going to make it. I knew that I wasn’t alone. I knew that God was in control, He always had been, and He always would be. At that very moment, I was overwhelmed with the Presence of the One. I was overwhelmed with the loving, forgiving, merciful Presence of the One True God. I was overwhelmed with His promise to love me, care for me, and to never leave me or forsake me.
In the five weeks that followed, I was overwhelmed day after day after day. Phone calls, emails, cards, letters from close friends who knew. Close friends who became the hands, feet, mouth, and mind of God to me. Close friends who made plain to me, made evident for me the love and presence of God.
This past week, I talked with a close friend who has just been diagnosed with stage three cancer. She said to me, “You’d think I’d be devastated. But, the truth is, I’m okay. I know I’m not alone. In this weird kind of way, I can feel God with me. And, when I doubt God, it’s as though He shows Himself to me through the love of my friends.” Then she asked, “Does that sound crazy?” I answered, “No, not at all. I think I know exactly what you’re talking about.” She, too, was experiencing the Presence of the One…the One True God who never leaves us or forsakes us, but always loves us with a love that is overwhelming.
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